After you read this article about a mom extracting the sperm from her dead Israeli's soldier son's body and finding a woman to carry the embryo then you might understand the rest of the post. Don't worry, it's a short read.

While I don't entirely know my stance on the whole child issue, I'm pretty sure I have wondered to myself if something were to happen to B would I regret not having a child with him? Would a child somehow lessen the blow (whether that blow were death, coma, paralysis, vegetable, or otherwise)? I assume that most couples who are in love wonder this from time to time. It seems like a normal quandry. Last weekend, we had a health scare and while I'm sure this question had entered my mind at some point before last Saturday (at least I think it must have), I had never truly considered the full weight of an actual response.

My initial answer is yes, I'm pretty sure I would regret not having had a child if something were to happen to B. Yes, I would rather be a single mother than a singular grieving widow. I think having a living, breathing piece of the person I love and cherish most in the world would somehow make death (or coma, etc.) seem less horrendous because a piece of my husband would continue to live on.

But how awful would that be for the kid? The child would probably suffer the emotional burden of a grieving, mourning mother--probably regardless of whether or not that child was an adult or not. How awful would it be if the child didn't remind me anything of B at all?

However, how weird is it to go so far as to extract sperm for a dead spouse? How weird is it that a mother did it?

Pretty weird.

I know I would never do that (the extracting sperm from a dead body thing--heck, I wouldn't extract sperm from a comatose body, either). And I know it's a highly irrational reason to have a child simply because I'm scared of losing the person I love most in the world. But I can't say that I'm entirely immune to the irrational pull of such a concept. I'm not sure if I'm disgusted with myself for this level of honesty I have achieved, or if I'm ambivalent about the whole thing.

But I am sure of one thing... that what that mom did strikes me as insanely creepy. But hey, she found 200 willing participants and narrowed it down to one.

I can't help but wonder what the kid will think when she learns that her mom got pregnant four years after her father was killed?

Labels: biological will, news, parenthood, pregnancy

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