So B brought this home for me to read. And it ticked me off. It kind of reminded me of a recent MSNBC article: No Brats Allowed: Is American society increasingly intolerant of tots? (And anyone who knows my work history will instantly realize that I empathize on the part of the children's department bookstore employee in the MSNBC article.) But the question: Is America Becoming Intolerant of Kids? -- I think is a good one. And I'd have to say that no, Americans aren't intolerant of bratty children. We're intolerant of bratty parents.

Case in point...

His crime? Being only 3 years old
JENNY SOKOL
Columnist
The Orange County Register
bjs92@adelphia.net
http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/life/columns/article_1258591.php

Ice water is pooling on the woman in 36D's lap. She's fuming; steam practically billowing above her head.

I knew we were flying the unfriendly skies the instant my son, daughter and I wedged ourselves in the middle seats of the five-seat center aisle row.

36D peered with disdain at my 3-year-old. His nose wasn't crusty, his eyes weren't goopy and there were no stains on his shirt. As far as I could tell, the kid appeared moderately clean and charming. His major offense? Parking himself in seat 36E.

The woman arranged her blanket and drifted to sleep before the plane pulled away from the terminal. Sometime between reaching cruising altitude and the in-flight movie, Tiger-Wiger the stuffed animal tumbled to the floor. As my son struggled with his seatbelt to rescue him, he unintentionally bumped into 36D's legs. Hard. Her eyes flew open; I believe flames shot out of her pupils.

"Oops," my son whispered. "Saw-wee."

She scowled and repositioned her pillow.

"It's OK," I assured him when he turned to me. "It was an accident." I pulled him close and whispered, "Don't worry; I don't think she likes kids."

He squished his nose angrily, shocked.

"No, no," I explained. "I mean, she probably just doesn't even like people."

He folded his arms across his chest.

"Sort-of like a ... witch," I added.

He flinched in fear and then leaned into me, blinking back tears.

I backtracked. "I'm sure she's not a really bad witch or anything, but let's not touch her again, OK, buddy?"

For four more hours, I added silently, peeking at Wicked Witch.

When the flight attendant carefully handed my son a full cup of ice water, I experienced a flicker of premonition, but dismissed it. Sure, my son is cursed with a grip disorder that causes him to spill nearly every beverage he comes into contact with. My novel was engaging, though, and he seemed content clomping plastic dinosaurs on his tray table.

Suddenly, Wicked Witch's legs and arms are flailing wildly. She's snorting like an angry dragon. My son is frozen, staring at his empty cup on her lap.

Tiger-Wiger is wet; he rubs him with his 3-inch napkin as the Wicked Witch bangs her call button.

"I need paper towels!" she barks.

As she looks at my son, I suddenly see him as she does: a bratty nuisance hell-bent on disturbing her.

What I see is the angel I awakened at quarter to four in the morning. The child I asked to sit straight and still for nearly five hours to satisfy a ridiculously grumpy woman.

He catches my eye and we grin ever so slightly at our unspoken secret: He has melted the Wicked Witch.

CONTACT US: bjs@adelphia.net

I think it is disgusting that parents use their children as expressions of their passive aggressive anger, the way Sokol does above.

What gets me is this: it was as though she was willing her son to spill on the "Wicked Witch." If you know your child has a spilling problem--just put the water on your friggin' tray, no matter how engaging your novel is: take control of the situation. Instead, she labeled this woman a "Wicked Witch" simply because she assumed that she doesn't like children--even though the woman said nothing and did nothing a regular passenger wouldn't do. I can only assume that Sokol created this prejudice based upon the fact that the woman didn't fawn over the little boy: "Well, if she doesn't fawn over my adorable three-year-old she must hate children, and by extension, she must not like people either." Dude, the woman just wanted to sleep on her flight... Instead Sokol unfairly punished the woman by allowing her spill-prone son to have control of his own glass of water on an airplane. Then she grins at her son after he spills on the woman? What the heck is she teaching the next generation?

Ugh.

So is America Becoming Intolerant of Kids? I'd say no. I realize that most of the craziness I encountered in the kid's section was due to moronic adults. We're just becoming intolerant of STUPID PARENTS who feel ENTITLED to harass, steal and create unsanitary conditions and health hazards for others (remember my stories about the layers of poo that covered the floor of the children's department in Barnes & Noble?).

I fear that the current generation of children being raised in these manners will lack common courtesy. For instance, while at a bookstore, or heck, just any store, make sure your kid doesn't color in a book that isn't meant to be colored in--and if they do, you should be expected buy it because the store can no longer sell it. Do not leave your child unattended in children sections just because there are employees bustling about--they don't have the time or the energy to keep an eye on your kid who is your responsibility in the first place. Make sure you don't bring a baby or a toddler to a movie theater--they really have no business being there, not even a family or PG movie, they can't really enjoy it the way a 7 year old can anyway. If you're on a plane and your baby is crying and you can't stop him, at least apologize to the people around you--a simple apology would go a long way because at least they'd know you were trying to be a considerate passenger.

And for goodness sakes: keep the cups of water on your own tray--don't take your passive aggressive bullshit out on unassuming passengers.

While I'm on my soapbox: stop assuming that people who don't go gaa-gaa over three-year-olds are "Wicked Witches." It's a dangerous stereotype. As women, we should respect each other's choices whether we procreate or not... we shouldn't make the world harder to navigate simply because we chose differing paths.

Labels: cfbc, childfree by choice, children, news, parenthood, parents

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