So there was this baby they're calling Jei-Jei born in China a few months ago. The baby has three arms.

There was talk of amputating one of this baby's two left arms, but it's not an easy decision:

Neither of the boy's two left arms is fully functional and tests have so far been unable to determine which was more developed, said Dr. Chen Bochang, head of the orthopedics department at Shanghai Children's Medical Center.

Of course the left arms are not fully functional. I'm willing to bet the right arm isn't fully functional either--babies have no freakin' motor skills.

Things a third arm could come in handy for:

1. Scratching the parts of your back that you can't reach with two boring arms alone.


2. Thrice as many Starburst could be unwrapped and devoured.


3. Baseball: the kid could be a pitcher.


4. Movies: the kid could be in a movie about being a three-armed pitcher--I bet it'd be better than that crappy stupid Rookie of the Year movie.


5. Pull-ups/chin-ups would probably be a lot easier.


6. Washing dishes by hand would go faster.


7. Cooking, in general, would be easier. You could be mixing in one bowl while you sautee.


8. You could be the fastest typist in the world. Think: people can type 100 WPM with two hands. But how fast could you type with three?


9. Could dress up as Doctor Octopus from Spider-Man. Have your parents make two little fake arms to hang in front, and let your three arms be the Doc Ock mechanical arms. And then people would be mesmerized by how you're making three of the fake arms move.


10. Be the most talented magician on the Vegas circuit. Vegas magic is all about misdirection and "palming" stuff. What could be more convenient than a built-in misdirection device (i.e. the third arm), plus it could also aid in palming items for disappearing acts.


11. Eating a corn dog, an ice cream cone and a Subway sandwich all at the same time.

I say let the kid have three arms. Apparently the third arm isn't killing him, and so it's not a danger to him. He might be a future X-Man or something.

Labels: children, news

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