I nominated my mother for What Not To Wear. I'm terrified that she'll be offended and get her feelings hurt. But I feel like someone needs to teach my mother that she's beautiful, as well as how to feel confident in her own skin. And I think Stacy and Clinton can do that.

Here's what I said in the application:

Relationship and Time Known?
I would like to share a poem I wrote about my mother, because I think this can best illustrate the kind of life we used to have--and how hard she has worked to change our situation around.

Recently Living Rabbits

My mother slaughters rabbits.
My mother breaks their necks and spines,
Feels life slip between fingertips.
She played piano when she was young.
Such sturdy fingers.

An apron she wears to stave off blood.
Not that rabbits always bleed,
When she cripples them as they still breathe.
"But sometimes," she says, "spine snags skin."
Their mammalian hearts, so used to beating.

I had a fondness for rabbits.
Their soft fur and wet eyes.
The unexpected presence of claws.
"Blood is surprisingly thick in rabbits,"
My mother says.

I realize that the poem is violent, but I hope the message underlying the images is beautiful. My mother used to slaughter rabbits for $5 an hour just to make sure we had food to eat and a place to live. My mother has since put herself through school and has become a nurse.

Personality
My mother has sacrificed everything for me and my brothers. She was a stay-at-home mom for most of my life, but once she left my abusive father, she suddenly had to make a living for herself. After 15 years of marriage, and being 30 miles away from the nearest town, my mother was left with very few wage-earning options. In order to provide for us, my mother has slaughtered rabbits, packed nightcrawlers, worked construction, made holiday wreaths, landscaped, worked as a caregiver at a group home for boys. In 2000, my mother left Mt. Aukum and moved to Vista to care for her mother, and to provide a better life for my brothers. In the beginning, she worked at a Salvation Army thrift store while she studied to become a C.N.A, and then worked in a convalescent home. She finished first in her program to become a Licensed Vocational Nurse, and soon became a director at the convalescent home she once worked as a CNA. For the last few years, my mother has exclusively worn scrubs, but now that she's working in hospice, she can actually wear normal clothes--and she was very excited about that. At first...

How Long have you known the Nominee?
All my life. And I feel blessed every day that I have her in my life.

Describe Nominee's clothes
My mom exclusively wears clothes from thrift stores or Wal-Mart. There's been the occasional QVC purchase, you know the type with the appliqués of flowers around the shoulders? I think the worst part about her clothing, though, is that nothing fits her correctly. As I said above, my mom was excited about wearing normal clothes at her new job--at first. However, I think she now finds the whole ordeal tiring. After watching an episode of What Not To Wear and seeing Stacy and Clinton dress a woman who has my mother's body shape, I was inspired. My mom's birthday was looming, so I went out to Macy's and bought my mother a $100 coat that was pink with this beautiful embroidery all over, but also had fitted seaming along the waist to give my mother structure. The coat was an extra-large and my mom couldn't button it all the way. I tried to convince her that she could wear it open and it still looks adorable on her--but it's four months later, and my mom still won't wear the coat. "Not until I can button it. I only need to lose ten more pounds..."

I feel like I hurt her self-esteem buying her an extra-large. No. I know I hurt her. But the coat was so beautiful... and it felt so nice to be able to get her something ... well... nice.

Right now, she is very unhappy about her weight, and it seems like she doesn't want to look good and buy decent clothes (now that she can afford them) until she hits her target goal. Honestly, I think she misses the simplicity of the scrubs: she could mix and match the cartoon-y patterns, and all the pants had an elastic waistbands. Compounding the problem of my mother's wardrobe is the fact that she refuses to spend any money on herself in order to buy well-made clothes. She tells me, "Matthieu [my younger brother] needs new shoes. And I can't get a good pair for less than a hundred dollars." That's when I'll look at her shoes from Wal-Mart and ask, "How much did your shoes cost?" And she smiles happily and says, "Eight bucks! And I bought two pairs!" She realizes the value of buying quality pieces for my brothers, but doesn't realizes that she deserves even BETTER treatment. I wish I could buy her a pair of really expensive shoes. I wouldn't care if I had to put them on a credit card. But she wouldn't allow me to buy her something so expensive. I'd have to ambush her--and then what if the shoes didn't fit right?

I have seen Stacy and Clinton help women learn to love their bodies and feel comfortable in their own skin. They show women that they are beautiful, even if they're not a size 6 or 8, because beauty is so much more than a label size. And I think no one in the world deserves to learn this lesson and feel beautiful and confident than my mother. She will be turning 50 in December, and I can think of no better gift than this lesson. I wish I could help her realize this myself, but I trust Stacy and Clinton with my mother.

If you do choose her for What Not To Wear, you will have to watch her like a hawk: she'll try to use the money to buy me and my brothers gifts with her money. Please don't let that happen. She deserves every penny and more.

I hope they choose my mom. She deserves it more than I can describe.

Labels: television

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