It suddenly dawned me, as so many things have suddenly dawned on me lately, that I haven't had ants in years.

I remember the last time I lived in California, every single place I lived--it didn't matter if it was Sacramento or the buttcrack of nowhere--every summer we had ants. Without fail. I remember my mom tried poisoning the sugar bowl, in hopes that they'd carry the poison back to their homebase. I remember thinking to myself, Why poison the sugar when you could just clean up the sugar you spilled when you spooned it from your coffee?

Anyway, I guess ants have been on my mind because I'm going to be one. Not a physical, little black ant. But an Aunt, with a 'u.' I know it should probably be pronounced: ahhhnt, or awnt or something yuppy-ish, but I've always said, ant for Aunt. My sister-in-law is having a baby.

I have gone through a lot of emotions, actually. I am happy that she's happy. But honestly, for some reason, I guess I never really imagined that I'd have to deal with this day when someone really close to me had a baby. I guess I assumed we'd live some sort of Lord of the Flies type of existence, except with more clothes, less killing (unless it's in video, computer or some kind of game), and, well, more bathing. I honestly don't know what I expected. Maybe Lord of the Flies is a bad example. Maybe Never Never Land is a better example. Like we'd all be Lost Boys--not the vampire movie, but that would mean Keifer Sutherland could join our group...

I suppose I never really imagined being grown up. But I look around, and I'm 24 years old. I'm teaching freshmen. My brothers are either adults or nearly so. I'm married. And my husband actually has what could quite possibly be a career. But our cat is as crazy as ever, so all is right in the world.

Labels: california, cfbc, childfree by choice, children, the children question

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