Definitely a mindfuck. Definitely not fair. But I'm sure you've learned that lesson by now.

Of course, you don't need to hear that from me. Despite this recent (and culturally cyclical I think) "metrosexual" craze, ultimately being a guy means its OK to be ugly. Nice luck for me. And I don't think a guy would have been fired from the job.

But then, I think a guy would likely have to be gay to get a front desk job. Not saying it to be mean, but I think the typical mindset is to hire someone "nonthreatening" who you can have power over to work the front desk. Someone you can beat up when you have a bad day. You've seen "The Player" of course? We're talking about the type of people who get mad at their boss and take it out on their waitress. I'm not saying gay men and pretty women are "nonthreatening", I'm saying that its how the minds of these fucks perceive them.

And that's not you. I think in a job like that you'd never be respected for your many talents, you'd always be a face at the desk, to look at or yell at or do lots of other things at. But you're able to do a lot more than catch things that are thrown at you.

Not that my opinion matters all that much, but I think you're better off. Being better off doesn't pay the bills, and maybe it doesn't do much for your self-respect *right now*, but I think its worth it in the long run. Which is a hard thing to convince yourself of as you sit at home.

Also: I'd recommend you write the story, it would probably help you understand it and might help someone else too. But I wouldn't hold my breath expecting "them" to have any satisfying reaction. Shame is too much to ask. They're barely human.

It's a shame that only a few people in the world can see how beautiful your 'soul' is. You have wonderful eyes. Looking into them and into your soul is comforting. I think this is your most beautiful quality.

That's what I miss most about you. Something about talking to you into the wee hours of the morning and looking into your eyes makes me think that somehow...Everything is going to be alright.

You are loved, and you love back. This is the most important feeling in life, and you make your friends know that they are loved.

The entire debacle was rather insane, but people get a thrill from belittling other people, however they see fit to do it. I know you can't just get over the thing by being told that you're not even close to being ugly in any way, shape or form, but hell...maybe after you're told that a few million more times it'll start to sink in.

I know what you mean about thinking something doesn't bother you and it turns out it does. I had something similar happen to be at work over a span of months, but I think we're all beyond that now. It happens. It's just a matter of pushing away the people that offended you in the first place and embracing those that you care for and vice versa. You're a tough cookie though...you've been through a lot and survived. And if you want to talk about it anymore, you've got a throng of people who will be more than happy to help you.