For those of you who haven't already heard: I am being fired. Or as some people like to refer to it, "Being let go." I don't really care, as they both mean the same thing: no more steady paychecks.


For those of you who haven't heard why I'm being fired, here is a comprehensive list of reasons that I have been given.


Sammy's Handy Dandy List of Reasons To Be Fired:

• Not perky enough.
  
  
• Doesn't dress nice enough.
  
  
• Isn't pretty enough. Quote, "Clients don't want to look at you."
  
  
• Was happy when the intern answered the phones during her 2 month stint, to which this conversation played:
  
  

Me: "But, the only reason we got the intern was because Louise (the lady who was filling in for the head of production's maternity leave) needed help, and I couldn't help her inclusively enough with the projects while answering the phone."

Owner of the company: "Yes, but you were happy."

Me: "What does that have to do with anything?"

Executioner:"You can't handle the phones."


Not a single person has ever complained about my phone skills. But when the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, big-boobed intern got here, four days later, you might remember, was the first near-firing incident. And the request from the owner was, "Can she please personally announce my calls in my office?"


Yeeeah....

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