You know you're having a bad day when this starts to look like a good idea.


So. I did not get the PR Assistant job. The man who interviewed me was quite nice about it all, though, which is to say that his being nice stung worse than had he screamed in my face, with a little spittle splattering all over the place, that I was unqualified and ignorant to boot.


As I explained earlier, the job was for a publicity place that handles independent and foreign film marketing and oscar campaigns. The job sounded dreamy: $24,000 to start, then two months later benefits kick in and the pay raises to $26,000 a year. Oh, and 2 weeks paid vacation.


But I was not familiar enough with independent and foreign films. I couldn't name independent and foreign films that I have seen recently.


I've been going to school full time for the last 2 years. I have not had a break from school. I went during the summer. I went during the Winter mini-mester that was offered in January.


I had no life. We barely rented movies, let alone went to the movies.


But because I was not familiar enough with independent and foreign films, I was informed that they were looking for someone more knowledgable.


The sad thing is, I used to be knowledgable. 4 years ago, when all I had to worry about was me and my own scrawy bills, I rented movies and went and saw movies, and I read articles in magazines. I knew a lot. 4 years ago.


Ya know, back in high school. Before college absorbed my life.


I feel like curling into a little ball and crying.


I was in the shower for 2 hours this afternoon. I like showers because my tears and mingle with the shower water in droplets on my body, and you can't tell which are which. It makes me feel less like a loser.

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